On role models
So often people talk about what terrible role models Rihanna and Nicki Minaj are, and what great role models Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift are. To which I have to say…really?
Taylor Swift writes most of her songs about men she’s dated. She is cunning and saavy, especially when it comes to manipulating the media, but she hides that in order to maintain her sweet, “all-American” image. Selena Gomez is most famous for her relationship with Justin Beiber.
Rihanna has long maintained that she does not want to be a role model. She is young and living her life, and she owns her mistakes. She is unapologetic about her success. Nicki Minaj, whether on Twitter or in interviews, constantly reminds girls to succeed in school. She has made it clear that she is first and foremost a businesswoman looking after her family. After being betrayed and raped by ex-boyfriends, she has remained single for the past ten years. She started writing rhymes and rapping as a means to cope with her life, and she was eventually discovered when she posted her music on MySpace. Her life story is one of resilience and perseverance despite the odds.
The problem isn’t that Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez are role models. The problem is that we don’t allow women to be complex. We don’t allow different women with different life stories to be considered role models because we fear that complexity. God forbid they define their lives in terms other than men.
also perfect little bitches with no problems are barely real people. A role model should be relatable
In case you are a fan of same sex unions, weddings in general, or are just really itching to know what I look like (or my wife, as I haven’t posted a picture of her yet [she’s the adorable one in the suspenders]) here’s the promised wedding picture spam.
Best day of my life.
Okay, but see here’s the thing. I want all of you to understand this thing:
I posted these wedding photos because this was the most amazing day of my life. I’ve been married for about two months, and goddammit, it has been just the best, you know? Like, this woman, in these photographs? She’s incredible. She’s unreal. She’s kind and she’s thoughtful and she’s everything I never thought I deserved. She’s the woman who I get to spend the rest of my ridiculously lucky life with.
It’s so simple to me, to us.
But it’s so complicated to so much of the world. She and I can’t walk into the grocery store holding hands. I get tight-lipped when someone compliments my ring at work because I can’t determine if they are going to be “cool” with it or not. If they’ll report me for being “inappropriate” in our online survey. Again. My wife was fired from a job as a driver for a children’s occupational therapist because her boss saw us kiss at the mall— because she couldn’t have “that kind of person” around children. I walked myself down the aisle at my wedding because a church told my parents that it wasn’t possible for them to attend my wedding.
And we’ve had it so easy! Our lives have been blissfully carefree compared to so many. We have the most amazing friends and family and life is pretty fucking sweet.
But here’s the thing I wanted to tell you. This post I made, to try to just share my little square of happiness with my little square of the internet, has literally tens of thousands of notes. Tens of thousands. I’ve gained hundreds of followers and my inbox runneth over. And not a single message I’ve received, not a single reblog that I have been able to find, has had anything to say but amazing, beautiful, kind words of congratulations. No bullying. No trolling. No inappropriate offers or lewd remarks. Out of tens of thousands.
That’s not something I’m used to. It’s not something anyone in the LGBTQ community is used to.
Do you even get how amazing you are? You, the denizens of Tumblr. Do you understand that? I am so exceedingly proud of you, you wacky kids. You are all such incredible people, with such kind and open hearts, and I wish I could hug each and every one of your necks.
So if you are having any sort of rough day, please know that there is this tiny lesbian couple in northeast America who likes you just a whole lot, okay? You’ve overwhelmed us.
Thank you. We love you.
Sorry that this isn’t Architecture related, but this is a serious issue. I can tell you from a personal point of view that I actually quit hockey when I was younger because of my self esteem issues. Girls and boys all around the world find a sport they love, but have it cut short because they do not like the way they look.
Girls and boys need their coaches, parents, friends etc. to help them through this. They need to be told that they should focus on their love for whatever sport it is instead of feeling bad about the way they look.
Pass this on, and let people know that everybody has a chance to be who they want to be without thinking about the way they look.
Some things I’ve learned in the CBT clinics I’ve been going to regarding anxiety that I thought might be helpful to some.
for real though. i have tried so hard to explain these things to people. jfc.
Listen up, Snowflakes.
fun little thing to tack on: triggers ARE NOT things that make you uncomfortable or uneasy, they are material that lead to visceral reactions/flash backs/panic attacks due to previous traumas
they aren’t even phobias
they are related to ptsd, not general discomfort or fear
sometimes i think that people need this polite reminder
Otis will let you hold him for about 30 seconds before he gets a case of the wiggles.
Internet Cycle of Grief for a Deceased Celebrity:
Day 1 = “RIP OMG UR GONNA BE SO MISSED”/Funny but tasteless jokes are made
Day 1-2 = “OMG STOP WITH ALL THE RIP POSTS GUIZ”
Day 2-5 = People start trying to seem like they’re smarter and more socially aware than everyone else by pointing out that a lot of people die everyday and that there’s no significance in just this 1 person dying
Day 5-Onward = People forget.
Every Single Time.